Funny Stories and Jokes

Thanks to: Michael Makovi

Q: How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Wanna go ride a bike?

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the table that I collected from the letter box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that it is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the post-box when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye – they need water.

I put the Coke on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control.

Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote control, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the front room where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote control back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

- the car isn’t washed

- the bills aren’t paid

- there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the worktop

- the flowers don’t have enough water

- there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book

- I can’t find the remote control

- I can’t find my glasses

- and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Thanks to: naturallycurly.com

Funny story about ADHD…

So recently I was diagnosed ADHD. Explains lots in my life. I’m trying to decide on treatment options, so my SO and I went to the bookstore.We get there, and I forget why we’re there… 10 minutes later I remember, go to the clerk, ask where the psychology section was… wander over, got distracted by the photography section, started flippin through frog pictures, went and had a cappuccino, ended up buying a thai cookbook and and a birthday card for a friend.

We walk out the store, I remember why I was there, wander over AGAIN to the section, look for 2 seconds and decide I’m too bored to look anymore… I looked at Brian and said, “ah f*ck it, let’s go have sushi.”

Well, at least I know my diagnosis was dead on!

From: womenwithadhd.com

My brother said he’d give me a ear piece for my cell phone.  He handed me one and said, “This is the one you lose.  And this is the one you keep.”  Then he handed me a second one.

 

Here’s what I did: I bought the book ADD: Driven to Distraction on the advice of my therapist. Then drove home and found the copy I had bought a year ago in the back of my car!
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