You Know You Have ADD / ADHD When:
This is the third time this month that you’ve set the stove on fire because you keep forgetting you’ve started to cook.
You have just read the same paragraph of the book you are reading seventeen times…and you still haven’t got the gist of the story.
You go into the other room to get something. “Now what was it ?!?!?”
You have a cigarette in one hand and a double brandy in the other…often.
Your TV remote handset is completely worn out from too much channel hopping.
Waiting in this queue is driving you completely insane.
You have just sent off your resume for a new job. The tenth new job in six months!
You have just forgotten what you were going to say, a split second before you were going to say it.
Your spouse tells you off again for distracting them from the telly with your finger- drumming or toe-waggling.
You wish the person you are talking to would JUST GET TO THE POINT.
Your darling husband asks “Was that OK for you?” and you reply “Was what OK?”
You know you have ADD when…you’re making love, almost to that climactic moment, and then it hits you…! “Beige! I think we’ll paint the ceiling beige!”
For people with a sense of humor, I have created the You know you have ADD when… page. Everyone is welcome to contribute to this page, but please read the rules before submitting. Remember, this page was created to show the humor in some of the odd things ADD people do. If you feel this is in poor taste, then just don’t visit!
You know you have ADD when…you forget your wife’s birthday and your daughter’s is the same day and you’re having a party.
You know you have ADD when…you go to fill your Ritalin prescription on the 15th day.
You know you have ADD when…you space out while talking on the phone and the other person has to ask if you are still there.
You know you have ADD when…you know you have add when your suitcase is still not unpacked 2 months after you return holiday /vacation and it doesn’t bother you!!
You know you have ADD when…when you read the same sentence 5 times and still forget what it says!
You know you have ADD when…You make chicken and rice for dinner, and then make a hamburger for dinner because you forgot you have chicken and rice cooking.
You know you have ADD when…you call someone on their cell phone but forget who you are calling.
You know you have ADD when…you’re standing in front of the printer at work waiting for something (you can’t remember what) to come out, when suddenly you look down at your hand and see a coffee cup in it and remember that you were on your way to the kitchen and you have no idea how you ended up in the printer room.
You know you have ADD when…you drive your car to work—take the trolley home—panic and have the mall security drive you all around in little cart, file a stolen car report—then realize that you drove to work and have to take the trolley all the way back to recover your car.
You know you have ADD when…you go to the grocery store to buy diapers, end up spending $200 on grocery and forget to buy the diapers.
You know you have ADD when…You wait and wait to do laundry and when you finally do it, you leave it in the washer and forget all about it. Three days later, you are in your wash room and there’s a stench coming from the washer. Then you wash them all over again, only to forget them again.
You know you have ADD when…In the middle of a college lecture, your only hope of paying attention rests on the ability to keep your mind focused….like a camera….do I have film that needs to be developed….what ever happened to those pictures of us at Beth’s party….I wonder how Beth is doing, I should call her….and I need to call about my account….maybe I’ll go shopping this weekend if I have enough in there….Oh, is class over already?
You know you have ADD when…Your 2 yr old keeps her diapers and baby wipes in a place were she can find them because she knows you’ll be searching for a half an hour for them when she needs a diaper change (she helps me find my keys in the morning too).
You know you have ADD when…you stop at an intersection and wait for the stop sign to turn green.
You know you have ADD when…you’ve actually stopped at a green light… waiting for… well… I still haven’t figured that one out yet.
You know you have ADD when…You look desperately for your cell phone but with only one hand because you’re holding your cell phone in the other hand.
You know you have ADD when…you spend four hours sweating over a homework assignment, even crying in frustration, certain you can’t do it , finally completing it with the help of your mother, fall into bed mentally and physically exhausted, then walk out of the house in the morning without it.
You know you have ADD when…You tell your dog it’s time for a walk… he doesn’t move. You go to the mud room to get his leash then to the front door. Back to the mud room to get your shoes, then to the front door. Back to get your coat then to the front door. Back to the med room for a poop bag then to the front door and the dog is there looking very happy because he knows NOW he is going for a walk.
You know you have ADD when…you know that you’re that person who would lose your head if it wasn’t connected to your shoulders!
You know you have ADD when…you can’t remember where you parked your car, and after looking around for 5 minutes or so and wondering if it was stolen, you realize you’re carrying your motorcycle helmet. (Now where did I park the bike?).
You know you have ADD when… you spend 2 hours making hamburgers for dinner because you walked down the hallway to tell your kids dinner will be ready soon, did some laundry, let the dog out, made your bed, and went to the bathroom, forgetting that you were cooking burgers!
You know you have ADD when…your kids tell you they are going to a friends house, they leave and a little bit later you call out their name and wonder where they got to when there is no answer.
You know you have ADD when…you open a package of oatmeal—–throw the oatmeal in the trash, and “throw” the EMPTY PACKAGE, in your bowl!!!!! Good Grief!!!
You know you have ADD when…You are checking into a hotel and you have to look at your credit card without looking too obvious, BECAUSE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR OWN NAME!
You know you have ADD when…After bugging her to go out with you for weeks, you have to ask your date her name.
You know you have ADD when…you pour orange juice in your coffee at least 3 mornings a week.
You know you have ADD when…when you put white on the computer screen more then once a week.
You know you have ADD when…you when you wear your pants inside out, your shirt backwards and your shoes on the wrong feet and not realize it until someone else points it out.
You know you have ADD when…you take your lunch out of the freezer, put it on a plate, put the plate and lunch back in the freezer, turn on the microwave, hear it popping and snapping, open it., notice your food is missing, look for it for five minutes, open the freezer and find your lunch in there.
You know you have ADD when…someone asks you how old you are and you can’t remember, so you figure it out by subtracting your birth year from the current year, but you have to ask what year it is first.
You know you have ADD when…you’ve been at work all day and suddenly look down and realize you have on two different shoes!
You know you have ADD when…you have an IQ of 140 but people still call you “space case.”
You know you have ADD when…When you start explaining that going back upstairs five times everyday before leaving for work is part of your daily exercise program.
You know you have ADD when…five minutes after you take your meds you start to have serious doubts about whether you actually took them or not and take more (oops).
You know you have ADD when…you sit down at your desk at work, proud of yourself for being there early for once, only to realize that you forgot to bring your lunch, didn’t wear your employee ID tag, and somehow missed earrings and lipstick in the get-ready routine.
You know you have ADD when…when you put a large pot of water to boil, decide you have at least 15 minutes to do some yard work,come back 30 mins. later to discover you turned on the wrong burner and burned all the crusty bits off your cast iron fry pan and the house is full of smoke.
You know you have ADD when…you fly to Vegas with a buddy, rent a car, drive to a Casino, park in a lot with 500 other cars, then 30 mins later you decide to leave. As usual, you forget where you parked. No problem, will find it – only this time you cannot remember the color, make or model of the car, and you can’t find the keys because you locked them in the car.
You know you have ADD when…you have a a thousand dollars in your checking account, but your phone, gas, and electricity get disconnected more than 5 times in a year for non-payment.
You know you have ADD when…you regularly turn the coffee pot on in the morning, only to discover five minutes later that you have: a) forgotten to pour in the water b)forgotten to put in the coffee grounds or c)forgotten to turn it on.
You know you have ADD when…someone says something that starts a train of thought that travels through a million time zones only to have you say something of your final thought and have them ask you “where did THAT come from?” so then you have to explain the connection between dog food and toenails.
You know you have ADD when…you can’t sit in a class, a meeting, or even church, without doodling…and absolutely EVERYTHING you own has doodles all over it!
You know you have ADD when…you find more comfort in reading this site than in any other thing you have ever read in your life.
You know you have ADD when…You live right on the Pacific Ocean yet you’re still not quite confident in stating which direction west is.
You know you have ADD when…you work right through your lunch hour and never even notice until two o:clock that your lunch relief didn’t show up!
You know you have ADD when…you come back here to see if your submission has been posted and when you get here, are unsure which one is yours. Or IF one is yours. Or if you’d WANT one to be yours. And you promise to remember this time…
You know you have ADD when…you can’t organize your own stuff, but it makes you crazy to be around other people’s chaos and messy disorganization.
You know you have ADD when…you realize the dinner you put in the microwave yesterday must be done by now.
You know you have ADD when…you realize that waiting until the last minute is your preferred mode of motivation.
You know you have ADD when…everyone driving too slow is a slug, and everyone driving faster than you is an idiot!
You know you have ADD when…you have to check back to the phone book a thousand times before you successfully dial the correct number.
You know you have ADD when…your television has 4 remote controls and you have to get up to change the channel.
You know you have ADD when…you finally get medication from the doctor and you forget to take it.
You know you have ADD when…you lug a tote-bag full of reading material & other stuff-to-do everywhere you go because you can’t choose which one before you leave the house.
You know you have ADD when…you carry the trash all the way to the bus stop.
You know you have ADD when…you put some beer in the freezer to cool it fast and you wonder what the explosions were in the middle of the night.
You know you have ADD when…You make a great lunch and forget to take it to work.
You know you have ADD when…your answering machine message should be “We can’t find the phone right now but leave a message and when we do, we’ll return your call”.
You know you have ADD when…driving home from work and realize you haven’t lived it that house in four years.
You know you have ADD when… you interrupt your spouse who is lecturing your child for interrupting.
You know you have ADD when…you drive through a stop sign while thinking about the quality of life of the policeman behind you.
You know you have ADD when…Your son’s teacher tells you that she believes your son is ADD, and you respond, “No, I don’t think so, my whole family is that way”.
You know you have ADD when…there was one submission in this list that TOTALLY cracked you up, so you read all the way to the bottom and know you had a favorite, but can no longer remember what it said, so you go back and reread through the whole thing three more times, trying to find it.
You know you have ADD when…your 10 year old non-ADD daughter has to remind you every weekend what time her horseback riding lesson is…even though it’s been at the same time for the last 2 years!
You know you have ADD when…you stop mid-sentence and have no idea what you are talking about or what to say next.
You know you have ADD when…you have been watching the same sitcom week after week, month after month for five years….and can’t remember the main characters’ names!!!!
You know you have ADD when…You think these jokes are funny.
You know you have ADD when…you finally figure out that the reason the car key won’t fit in the door is because you’re trying to open somebody elses car!
You know you have ADD when…You’re writing a research paper, have picked a topic, documented the research sources, and decide to completely change topics because something else sounds more interesting less than a few weeks before it’s due.
You know you have ADD when…you drive to the library with the books on the roof of your car.
You know you have ADD when…writing one of these causes your eyes to tear up, and you are a 50 year old man!
You know you have ADD when…This is the only answer that makes sense for your life.
You know you have ADD when…you rent the same movie 3 times in a month each time thinking you have never seen it before (until you start watching).
You know you have ADD when…You’ve forgotten what color your carpet is.
You know you have ADD when…Other people think you’re crazy and you think they’re boring.
You know you have ADD when…You read the instruction manual only after you’ve spent 3 hours trying to “figure it out on your own.”
You know you have ADD when…Your ratio of starting projects to finishing them is about 200:1.
You know you have ADD when…you put something in a safe place to have it when you need it and then you forget where the safe place was!
You know you have ADD when…when you go looking for something you put in a safe place, you realize it is not in that particular safe place, but you find something else instead, that you had been looking for!
You know you have ADD when…you go to tell your kids to turn off the TV but end up watching it with them
You know you have ADD when…you have 3 half full sodas open at one time, and are afraid to drink out any of them because you can’t remember if you put a cigarette butt out in one of them.
You know you have ADD when…You get off the plane, and have to look at you ticket to know what city you just landed in!
You know you have ADD when…you wonder why the electric bill is so high and then you realize that the oven has been on for a month….
You know you have ADD when…you are reading this page and think: “I could write a million of these”
You know you have ADD when…when your wife asks you to get her migraine medicine and you take it instead of giving it to her.
You know you have ADD when…you write a check and use a date from another month, day or year, and you don’t know where it came from and the clerk is looking at you funny.
You know you have ADD when…you put something you MUST take with you the next day in front of the main door, blocking it, and then as you leave the house you push aside the”mess” and forget to take it with you. You do the same thing the following days , or worse, you put something else you MUST take, in front of the door a few days later, and end up taking last week’s instead!
You know you have ADD when..you go to the kitchen and stand in front of the open refrigerator for several minutes before you remember that you were there to answer the phone.
You know you have ADD when…when you’re reading these and thinking “That’s not so bad…us normal people do that too.”
You know your girlfriend has ADD when she brings you to this page to show you her submissions and can’t remember which ones they were.
You know you have ADD when…you fly home from a week long trip and leave the airport without your luggage.
You know you have ADD when…you have a small purse that is totally stuffed so you keep getting bigger purses and finally realize that the size of the purse isn’t the problem!! No purse will ever be large enough.
You know you have ADD when…You’re a dentist out for a lunch hour walk in a MAJOR city (downtown) and the traffic cop asks you if the air is really “that bad ?”, and you realize you forgot to remove your mask!
You know you have ADD when…You start to re-organize your basement, then realize that the old, built -in work bench really could use replacing so you tear it out. Then, you think to yourself, “hmmm…those walls should be torn out and replaced as well”, so you tear them out with the idea that you are going to put up nice, new dry-wall. Half way through, you decide to check the internet for info on ADD, as your wife has just shown you an article on the subject, and since it reads as if someone followed you around for half your life and wrote down a description of you, there must be something to it. Now, two hours after you started tearing out the bench and walls, with piles and piles of junk (formerly stored in that space) all around you, you’re still surfing the net, instead of finishing the job you started. You realize that almost all of these posts are relevant to your life of 38 years. Scary.
You know you have ADD when…You ride a bike to work, and carry your clothes in a bag, and about once a month you forget to include underwear.
You know you have ADD when…You know you have ADD when you show up to be evaluated for ADD a week late.
You know you have ADD when…Everyone else in the class knew they were having a HUGE test, and this is the first you’ve heard of it.
You know you have ADD when…when you back your car up to the loading ramp, take your groceries up to your apartment and forget to move your car. The next day, when you look for your car, you discover that it has been towed!
You know you have ADD when…your kid hands you his Ritalin and says “Here you seem to need this more than me.”
You know you have ADD when…You go to the toolbox to get a hammer, so in order to remember it, you walk there repeating ‘hammer, hammer, hammer’, and when you finally get there you completely forget what you wanted all together while still repeating ‘hammer, hammer’.
You know you have ADD when…You can actually laugh at these one liners !
You know you have ADD when…you start yelling “who left the (door open, stove on, shoes in the middle of the living room, etc)?!” then after a while realize it was you.
You know you have ADD when…You laugh uncontrollably at 99% of these, but deep down you’re disturbed that they all relate to stuff you have done.
You know you have ADD when…You lost your ATM card, call the bank in a panic to report it gone, then find it in your wallet…. while still on the phone with the bank’s customer service rep…
You know you have ADD when…when you start to make dinner and end up cleaning out the refrigerator.
You know you have ADD when…when the smoke alarm tells you supper is done.
You know you have ADD when…when you wake up go to high school and you graduated 15 years ago and it is Saturday.
You know you have ADD when…You drive to work, turn off the motor, and discover your one year old is still in the car seat.
You know you have ADD when…when going to a library to do research….wind up spending 6 hours “browsing”.
You know you have ADD when…You head for the store, end up at work, and don’t know how you got there.
You know you have ADD when…You still have an un-cashed paycheck from a job you had a year and a half ago.
You know you have ADD when…you are reading this page, laughing so hard you’re crying, when your four-year-old daughter touches the mouse and sends you somewhere else. You can’t find your way back, and can’t remember the name of the website, so you spend four hours the next night trying to find it again.
You know you have ADD when…You cannot find your keys until you look through the back window of your locked car and they are laying on the back seat where you laid them to get packages out of the back so you would not forget and leave them in the ignition AGAIN !!!!!!!(and you do this or lock your self out of the house at least 5 or 6 times a year. Only to remember that you forgot to get those extra keys made.
You know you have ADD when…you have to park in the EXACT same spot at work every day or you’ll never find your car.
You know you have ADD when…You make *clear* coffee on a regular basis.
You know you have ADD when…you read these and realize you are actually the one with ADD and you can’t blame your husband for bad genes anymore.
You know you have ADD when…someone says how bad their memory has gotten and your reply is but I’ve been like that all my life!
You know you have ADD when…You’ve can’t get it together to send in a rebate form because you never have the receipt, UPC code and rebate slip together at any given time!
You know you have ADD when…you get one tray of unburnt cookies from a double recipe.
You know you have ADD when…instructions say don’t open, but you’ve already opened it.
You know you have ADD when…you keep finding one or two word notes on scrap paper or business cards, (some with exclamation marks) in your own handwriting and have absolutely no idea what they mean.